Conflicts of Religious Interest

I don't understand what the propensity is with some so-called modern witches in combining religions.

Saw someone in a group recently giving a "SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY LUTHERAN WITCHES OUT THERE. WHERE YOU AT?"

 (spoof of Martin Luther at the church door)

This makes my head hurt. And my heart.

While I get that witchcraft doesn't necessarily involve religion (though Wicca, and certainly BTW does), this idea of combining specific denomination of Christianity with Craft just sounds to me like a cop-out and utter nonsense.

Before you give me the "Ok, Boomer" bullshit (and I'm GenX thankyouverymuch), hear me out.

How in the blue blazes do you make Lutheranism work with Craft? That would denote that one would be able to see the correlation between these two diametric positions on spirituality, faith, practice and theology and somehow Frankenstein it together into something both would recognize and acknowledge as being honorable to their origins.

Can't happen, man.

How do you hold to a Lutheran theology that expressly despises the very thought of witches, believes holding other powers beside Yahweh/Jesu to be blasphemous, yet witches do work with energies other than God the Father in Heaven? How does one reconcile that Lutherans have a distinct priesthood and would renounce anyone other than their priesthood performing rites?

You don't.

It really frosts my cupcakes when people think Craft is a plug-n-play system that they can just overlay onto any other theological entity and call it good.

That's a shortsighted view of what the Craft entails and the depth of what it means to be a witch. One of the basics of witchery is the ownership of whatever you put forth. You are the direct connection to Source, you do not have the go-between of another person, in this case Lutheran clergy, acting on behalf of lowly little you, the congregant.

Like I want to see this Lutheran Witch walk into a Lutheran church and tell the assembled folks what they profess to believe as a witch, what they practice in combining it with Christian deity and how they have aligned themselves both to The Ninety-five Theses or Disputation on the Power and Efficacy of Indulgences and the basic principles and practices of Craft.

Don't you think they'd get ex-communicated (or whatever the Lutheran equivalent may be)?

By that token, as a Craft person, I want to decry equally the utter nonsensical nature of this bastard combination.

But I can't....because in this era of 'let others do what they want' and 'it's his/her/their own path and let it be'....I am to let this kind of ridiculousness stand as a possibility.

I just can't though. I can't get my brain wrapped around this as a tenable, workable methodology for either persuasion. Consider it a failing on my part, I guess.

Shit like this makes me angry because it cheapens things for the rest of us who do take this seriously. Yes, I'm of the belief that stuff like this does take us all a peg down because it makes every one of us seem just as ridiculous to the rest of the world.

And if I were to question this person in the forum, I'd be the one getting the boot from the group for being a gate-keeping, judgmental elitist jerk.

So mote it be then, gang. I do judge things when I think they are ridiculous and insulting to the Craft. I gate-keep because I want to protect and honor something dear to me from half-assed scholarship and poor excuses of execution. 

Witchbots and the almighty pagan dollar

Do you believe the stuff they'll peddle to the unsuspecting consumer?  

It was bad enough years ago when there were a lot of "repeats" by authors sharing a lot of the same info in a new dress and calling it the latest Witchcraft incarnation.

Now, just like robocalls, spammed phishing emails and bots in every chat room trying to snake-oil sales pitch you into buying into a fad, commercialized, trendy version of whatever it is you just google-searched....  

The asshole marketing folks are ghost-writing regurgitated witchcraft literature and making it available on the bargain-basement cheap.  

They're using fake names, usually with the unobtrusive "Lisa" plus a surname that sounds like they're a relative of a legit, well-recognized and well-respected pagan author, witchcraft old-guard leader or occult visionary.  

It's almost a given that this is so that their garbage gets more hits in the Google and Amazon search engines when you type in said REAL author/leader/occultist name, tempting you to believe into the associated fictional and bot-generated product reviews.  Yessir, step right up and BUY! BUY! BUY! your way into spiritual greatness in timing faster than your average Prime delivery truck.

The saddest part is that the unwary seekers out there will fall for this crazy bait and think that they're getting a good deal.  

They can well-afford 10 of these instant generated bogus books for the price and effort of tracking down just one book by a reputable author, whose labor of love and experiential wisdom will be overlooked in the avalanche of BS bot books.

This all sounds so familiar...          ((queue wayback machine sound effect))

Golly gee, why should I spend the time and effort to find a teacher?  And then have to wait a year-and-a-day or more to learn 'the good stuff' when I can just send in my cashiers check (or now just whip out my credit card for an ongoing Patreon subscription) and buy online classes with someone who sounds legit and has good lighting on their YouTube vids? 

Because, my darlings, caveat emptor.  Those old sayings about "you get what you pay for" and "If it seems too good to be true, it probably is"....those apply here too.   

Just as you'd thoroughly investigate a potential in-person teacher to see what their background is, how much training they've had and from what level of expertise and experience they're coming from, DO THIS WITH WHO YOU READ TOO.

Isn't it better to have spent your time reading material from a diligently researched and well-practiced source than from someone who just ((POOF!)) arrived on the scene a few weeks ago with no background check available into their credentials?  Don't be duped by these books conveniently bearing a name that sounds a lot like someone who DOES deserve respect and who HAS really been afforded respect in their field.

Riding coattails of real witches when you're just an advertising jockey who is trying to beat the numbers game in book sales, all the while not truly caring about your target audience...that's what is really....uh, bogus.

Millenial Douchebags in Witches' Clothing

Photo from the Chicago Reader.  All credit to them, not me.

Check this shit out.

So a bunch of hipster assholes got dressed up in cloaks and decided to light a bunch of candles on a city street to protest the mayor and a bunch of construction workers because they're tearing down some low-income housing to put up new condos in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago.

What?  Did they run out of PBR and your favorite gluten-free granola at the corner store so you needed something to do with your afternoon before you were gonna ride your scooter over to the poetry slam?

Check out the article from The Chicagoist, here:

http://chicagoist.com/2016/02/08/photos_logan_square_witches_put_a_h.php#photo-7

Yeah.  Good for you posers.  Way to get some more bullshit press for real witches everywhere by showing your face to the cameras with your emo-whining.

As someone who IS a witch --that is to say who is a practitioner of the religion--- may I say that ignorant, self-righteous, attention-seeking Millennials pretending to be witches really piss me off.

How dare they co-opt my honorable belief system to use it for their "15 minutes of fame disguised as a political movement"?  Are the kids today so spoiled and entitled they think it is ok to play-act at someone's valid religion for their own personal ends?

 

Well, I can tell you.....they sure as shit aren't real witches.  

 

But don't misunderstand.  I'm not saying real witches don't do political stuff.  They totally do.  We protest and hold rallies and marches and pride parades with the best of 'em.  Hell, Starhawk made a whole pagan life-path out of being radical and political.

 

But these here?  These are just some twenty-somethings who think that dressing in flowy robes and lighting a bunch of candles while reciting some poorly-written iambic pentameter in the name of their own personal agendas makes them SOOOO MUCH MORE SCARY and worthy of the attention.

 

They don't understand things like boundaries or respect.  Funny....isn't that sort of what they're claiming to be all up in arms about?   The taking away from others to use for personal gain?

 

Oh honey....you don't sound witchy either.  You sound like you're trying for a blurb on TMZ. 

 

Do you really think that Mayor Rahm Emmanuel is going to drive up in his limo, part the "crowd" of you and all 6 of your friends acting like Harry Potter on the sidewalk (without a permit, mind you)? 

 

Do you imagine he's going to beg you not to make an effigy of him out of locally-sourced beeswax stuck with the vintage hat pins that you got from the Brown Elephant, if only he will stop the bulldozers from leveling that crumbling project building?

 

What are you gonna do for an encore?  Spread your propaganda dressed as nuns, chaining yourselves to the construction site gate with old wristbands from Coachella, SXSW and Lolla? Or maybe you'll wear some cool yarmulkes that you've made by upcycling your old flannels?

 

Fuck no.  Please don't.

If the important thing is your MESSAGE, then find a way to air your protestations without a platform which denigrates somebody else.

 

Because, trust me little darlings, if there was any real juju in your hexes, you'd know that you're going to get what YOU deserve for your little publicity stunt too.  Good luck.