To Tree or Not to Tree? THAT is the question!

Well, as you can see, I said yes to the tree. 

Surely there is enough precedent for tree-hugging and nature worship within paganism as a whole, enough allegory for the Tree of Life in ceremonial magics to see the whole useful symbolism of having a decorated tree in the house during the holiday season.

For me it serves the purpose of making my Catholic parents happy because they look at it and see Christmas.  It reminds me of my childhood too, with all the family gathered 'round and enjoying company and Santa with all the trimmings.

For me today, the tree gives me thoughts of happy Winter Solstice celebrations with my witch-family and carrying on the traditions of burning the Yule log  (NB: mines a fake tree, I have a separately collected wood specimen for the Yule log burning).

And besides all that....I like the whole hoopla of getting the family together to decorate the tree and the house with lights and branches and pine cones.  I love the smelling all the wintry smells of pine needles, of mulled spiced cider, of gingerbread and cinnamon.  I love being out in the cold long enough to appreciate the warmth of the fireplace and a cup of cocoa with whatever marshmellows are left over, those that didn't fit atop the sweet potatoes at Thanksgiving.

This year's tree is special for me.  This is the first holiday season that I am spending with my fiance since moving in together.  Like so many other things, we came into the relationship with our separate stuff and are now learning how to combine it into OUR stuff. 

I'm enjoying the process of seeing what familial traditions are sacrosanct for each of us and which we want to jettison and create anew, just between us.

So this tree is one such...er, mulligan.  I had the tree itself, but the old decorations reminded me of a past life with my ex-husband.  Similarly, the stockings that my fiance had held too many memories of his ex-wife and kids, now estranged and distant.

Thus, we went out to pick something else for OUR future together.  Something that would speak to the colorful and bright new life beginning together while we're both somewhat beaten down and jaded and steadily approaching 50. 

Never too late for a happy ending, kids, so ELECTRIC PEACOCK it is!!

Into the West

In just three weeks time, I will be moving from 46 years growing up and living in Chicago to my new home in the Denver area.

A different climate, a different scene, a different spirit-of-place.

Brings to mind that I haven't really asked permission of the genius loci if I may invade their turf and set up shop, although I felt we were on very good terms during my prior multiple visits leading up to this life-changing adventure.



Makes me wonder what is the protocol for such things.  I mean, it isn't like you just bring a bottle of wine and a bouquet from the local florist, plonk them down in your new homeland and say "Hey all you local entities, ok if I hang out with you from now on?"

There's should be some sort of....I don't know....transaction, interview, agreement to terms....and if one is lucky, acceptance and/or adoption into the new community.

And I don't mean the local pagan community.

I know how to do the "visiting dignitary" thing and have already begun making polite introductions around, reaching out to folks.  I've let it be known that although I'm going to be new in town, I am a seasoned practitioner who may or may not be establishing a new covenstead sometime in the relatively near future, once I get settled in.

What I mean is sending out a polite aetheric calling card to the spirit guardians who reside there.

How does one let it be known that I come in peace and hope that we can be friends one day?  How do I express my gratitude for being in this land that is new to me, working with soil that is completely different from my Midwestern loam, with flora and fauna...and no doubt fae....which will be as foreign to me and I to them?  How does one make such an approach without any accidental impropriety?

These are the thoughts that float through my head while I continue to pack up the first half of my lifetime here in Chicago.  It is my hope that along with the new job, the new house and the new timezone, that I can find friends associated in all aspects of my new life in Colorado.

I know, I'll bring pizza.  Pizza works on everybody.

Packing again....short-term solution ahead

Despite my intentions, things in my life did not 'play nice' long enough for me to get back into blogging.  Yet here I am, another early part of a new year, trying again.

And I'm moving.  Again.  This time down-sizing into a one bedroom apartment, but hopefully only for a 6-month stint before moving out of state.

So much has transpired, I don't even know where to begin.  Let's numerate the madness, shall we?

1. My 2012 divorce was finally finished as of last week.  Yes, you read that correctly.  LAST WEEK.  Although the divorce happened in 2012, it took my ex and his crappy credit score all this time to get me off the mortgage of my former marital home.  Let's not dwell....but suffice it to say, he and his lovely new bride are happy in the ol' homestead and that ****** no longer has the ability to jack up my debt-to-income ratio or have his defaulted payments hit my credit score anymore.  Good riddance.  And to think I wasted my 30's on that douche bag!
2. My long-time love interest finally realized that I was the best thing to ever happen to him.  So over the winter holidays, he asked me to marry him.  After 28 years of us chasing each other off-and-on over the years after first meeting back in college, we are finally together.  Well, sort of.... 
3. Which brings me to my present circumstance of MOVING.  My fiancé lives in Denver, I live in Chicago.  For the past few years we have been alternating visits every month or so between the two cities and trying to convince the other to move to our hometown.  Well, I have a great job here but my company has an office in Denver.  My fiancé just opened a new business in Denver, which he's still trying to get off the ground.  Coincidentally I didn't want to move out of IL until my ex-husband got me off the house here, which he now has done.  Thus, I'm giving my fiancé 6-months to get his CO business up and running.  The deal is, if he is successful, then I'll move to CO.  If he isn't able to get it into the black by August, then he has to come here.  Bottom line:  I'll be semi living out of boxes for the next 6 months. 
4. One of my much-respected and dear friends, in fact one of my Gardnerian uplines, passed away on 9/1/15.  Lady Nimue was an amazing teacher and fun-loving HPS, with whom I am grateful to have spent time with over the years.  Many a sabbat was spent in her company and she had some wonderfully funny stories of the early days of the Craft in Chicago.  I'm so blessed to have heard a lot of the local history and lore from her, and even more so to be able to share in the generous teaching materials that she left to her downlines in the area.  She gives me a real fortitude about getting a coven of my own started in the near future so that I can pass along and keep up the wonderful legacy she helped share.  Whether that ends up in Chicago or the "Chicago Line" takes root in Denver, remains to be seen.

And that, my friends, is why I have been MIA.  Working two jobs to keep the financial wolves from the door and trying to decipher what the Gods want me to do with my adult life now that my cronehood is just around the corner. 

A bit belated, but no less heartfelt…HAPPY NEW YEAR!!!

2014 was pretty bumpy for a lot of folks out there, and I’m definitely in that camp. But tough as it was, I believe it was far better than the year that proceeded it because each one of us sort of hit upon the same idea in our own way….authenticity.

Yes, the past year contained a lot of hard-won lessons. And painful though these personal trials were while we were in the thick of them, it was only after managing to fight and push through them that we learned how powerful and illuminating the value of living authentically truly is.
Midlife-crisis my ass….midlife AWAKENING!!

So many of us approached our lives last year in a constant struggle to “slap on a Band-Aid and keep going,” trying to muddle through situations and circumstances that were not actually feeding our passions or our spirits; doing things because we felt we “ought to do them” and not because we truly wanted to do them or saw wisdom in continuing those old patterns….just being coerced or being lazy by playing the half-hearted old role for sake of not making waves.

But then, something happened. A crux and monumental stand-off occurred between psyche/soul and notions of “ought to“ when deep down we felt otherwise. Something shifted and the epiphany hit us squarely on the noggin: that just “going through the motions” of standard, garden-variety life wasn’t satisfying to anybody, least of all ourselves. Nobody wants to participate in that cardboard cut-out, baby…in our deepest desires, we all want vibrancy, deeply moving, extraordinary L-I-F-E!!!

And that’s why I am so looking forward to what 2015 has in store.

Yes, it will carry the all inherent wisdom of everything in my life which proceeded it. But if I can be brave, trust that I learned from my past experiences -- the good and the bad--- and then, with patient resolve, ACTIVELY CHOOSE everything I actually WANT to be a part of my life from now on (discovering what those people and things are, and admitting them is a big step)….and not allow myself to auto-pilot my way along or meekly accept whatever is doled out….only then I can create a life worth enjoying and being happy to participate in. Who’s with me??!?!

So I’m certain that there will be much to experience and enjoy in these next 12 months. There’s going to be some missteps, sure, but those will be on my terms too, not things I’ll be settling for.

This year will not be another one filled with corrective measures and survival mode….it will be about being brave, and honest and asking for what I want and not being afraid to really make hearty attempts, sometimes multiple attempts, to get it. Brand-new adventures and following through on dreams I’d shelved because I didn’t think I’d ever get around to pursuing them.

So I’m grateful for 2014…and grateful to see it in the rear-view mirror, getting smaller as I move forward.

Here’s hoping my friends, family and co-pilots in life embrace their own authenticity and we will enjoy with great mirth and reverence all the places our lives intersect, overlap and run parallel.

Be blessed and be true,
Albiana