Millenial Douchebags in Witches' Clothing

Photo from the Chicago Reader.  All credit to them, not me.

Check this shit out.

So a bunch of hipster assholes got dressed up in cloaks and decided to light a bunch of candles on a city street to protest the mayor and a bunch of construction workers because they're tearing down some low-income housing to put up new condos in the Logan Square neighborhood of Chicago.

What?  Did they run out of PBR and your favorite gluten-free granola at the corner store so you needed something to do with your afternoon before you were gonna ride your scooter over to the poetry slam?

Check out the article from The Chicagoist, here:

http://chicagoist.com/2016/02/08/photos_logan_square_witches_put_a_h.php#photo-7

Yeah.  Good for you posers.  Way to get some more bullshit press for real witches everywhere by showing your face to the cameras with your emo-whining.

As someone who IS a witch --that is to say who is a practitioner of the religion--- may I say that ignorant, self-righteous, attention-seeking Millennials pretending to be witches really piss me off.

How dare they co-opt my honorable belief system to use it for their "15 minutes of fame disguised as a political movement"?  Are the kids today so spoiled and entitled they think it is ok to play-act at someone's valid religion for their own personal ends?

 

Well, I can tell you.....they sure as shit aren't real witches.  

 

But don't misunderstand.  I'm not saying real witches don't do political stuff.  They totally do.  We protest and hold rallies and marches and pride parades with the best of 'em.  Hell, Starhawk made a whole pagan life-path out of being radical and political.

 

But these here?  These are just some twenty-somethings who think that dressing in flowy robes and lighting a bunch of candles while reciting some poorly-written iambic pentameter in the name of their own personal agendas makes them SOOOO MUCH MORE SCARY and worthy of the attention.

 

They don't understand things like boundaries or respect.  Funny....isn't that sort of what they're claiming to be all up in arms about?   The taking away from others to use for personal gain?

 

Oh honey....you don't sound witchy either.  You sound like you're trying for a blurb on TMZ. 

 

Do you really think that Mayor Rahm Emmanuel is going to drive up in his limo, part the "crowd" of you and all 6 of your friends acting like Harry Potter on the sidewalk (without a permit, mind you)? 

 

Do you imagine he's going to beg you not to make an effigy of him out of locally-sourced beeswax stuck with the vintage hat pins that you got from the Brown Elephant, if only he will stop the bulldozers from leveling that crumbling project building?

 

What are you gonna do for an encore?  Spread your propaganda dressed as nuns, chaining yourselves to the construction site gate with old wristbands from Coachella, SXSW and Lolla? Or maybe you'll wear some cool yarmulkes that you've made by upcycling your old flannels?

 

Fuck no.  Please don't.

If the important thing is your MESSAGE, then find a way to air your protestations without a platform which denigrates somebody else.

 

Because, trust me little darlings, if there was any real juju in your hexes, you'd know that you're going to get what YOU deserve for your little publicity stunt too.  Good luck.